.im so very happy.

yes i am~!!.

yesterday, not only i'd manage to purchase a new laptop, as promised by mom,but i also get to buy me, a new handphone.

a new Sony Ericson~!!

huhu.

well. im here now at mel's house. my very 1st tym opened up dis laptop, and he's letting me used the internet connection. kudos to him.

dats y, im so happy!!

.F.A.T.H.E.R.

Fathers.

Well, he was the person responsible, to make us up, to raise us, provide us shelter, food, and such. Everybody knows that. And some day, I’m going to be one of them. Although, me, ended up marrying? Ha-ha. That would be the day.

What I’m going to write about is MY relation with my father. You see, I had been spending these last few years in a small family, small house. But comfy, that’s for sure. All these while, it’s just us. Me, my 17-years-old brother and my 21-years-old brother and my mom. These, I never cared so much to tell people, but, well, he’s gone, in 2002, almost six years now.

During his life, well, I never even cared about him. Well, I was barely 13 at that time. And, I seriously thought that he would be there, would always be there. But no. he’s gone now. For good. His name was Mohd Hanafiah b. Othman. His hometown was in Perak. That’s why I walways thought that I was lucky. Mom from Kelantan, Dad from Perak, and here I was, in KL. Mix, huh?

My dad, he was a bit quiet. But, strict, whoa! That no one can argue with. He always kept it to himself. Hell, even I, as the child never thought that he had any problem. But he did. We always went off to holiday. To Pangkor, Port Dickson, and such.

What I regretted the most was that he was gone, so sudden. I thought he was going to survive. The day he left us, it was Ramadhan. Almost 8-9 days to ‘Idulfitri. Hell, we did our shopping together, days earlier. Our last shopping. But he was gone, in the blink of an eye. I couldn’t even send him to the hospital. He passed away on the way there. I thought it was going to be nothing. That he would get up, and everything will be okay. But no. Life seriously has taken a whole new path, since.

But, through the years, I had it all sorted out. This taught me, to be way independent. To do it all by yourself. Not to rely on others. Of course, it was so much easier since I had Fikri Ahmad Salleh, Badrul Muzammil, Shariman Akmal. And all my closest friends. So much that, today, I can think about him, and not shed a single tear. Pretty strong-will, huh?

Of course, this doesn’t mean that I’m starting to forget him. No. That’s not it. It’s just, over the years, it was us. I do miss him, badly. And I seriously want him to see how far I’ve achieved. How well I’ve done. And how matured I’ve become. And I want him to be proud for it. I seriously think he would.

And, oh yea~!
A big applause given for Ms Sonora Louise Smart Dodd, a loving daughter from Spokane, as she was the one who honored her father so much that this new day was declared, somewhere back in years ago.


And, just to celebrate this day, here’s some info I digged at the Net. It’s about the tribute to father (duh?!) and how a children should treat them.


* Tribute to Father
Fathers are the biggest source of strength for a child.

* Say Thanks to Dad on Father's Day

* Apologize to Dad on Father's Day

* Celebrate Father's Day with Dad

To relive this moment, I compiled some of the Father’s Day poem, specially dedicated to my Dad, and all those great Dads in the world.

F.A.T.H.E.R.S.

"F" aithful.

"A" lways there.

"T" rustworthy.

"H" onoring.

"E" ver-loving.

"R" ighteous.

"S" upportive.


You Never

You never said I'm leaving

You never said goodbye

You were gone before I knew it,

And only God knew why

A million times I needed you,

A million times I cried

If Love alone could have saved you,

You never would have died

In Life I loved you dearly

In death I love you still

In my heart you hold a place,

That no one could ever fill

It broke my heart to lose you,

But you didn't go alone

For part of me went with you,

The day God took you home.

* this one, for my dearest father*

What Makes a Dad

God took the strength of a mountain,

The majesty of a tree,

The warmth of a summer sun,

The calm of a quiet sea,

The generous soul of nature,

The comforting arm of night,

The wisdom of the ages,

The power of the eagle's flight,

The joy of a morning in spring,

The faith of a mustard seed,

The patience of eternity,

The depth of a family need,

Then God combined these qualities,

When there was nothing more to add,

He knew His masterpiece was complete,

And so, He called it ...

Dad

My Dad and I

My dad and I-we think alike,

He knows just what I mean

Before I even say a word

He reads, well, in between.

My dad and I-we like to fish

Or build a model plane,

Or fix a broken chair or two

Or just a windowpane.

My dad and I-we know the score

Of every single game;

Sometimes he's really busy, too

But he takes me just the same.

My dad and I-we go swimming too,

Each year and sometimes twice.

My dad and I-we do everything;

My dad-he's really nice.
Phyllis C. Michael

A Father Is:

There in every memory

See his love and care

Strength and hands to count on

Freely he does shareProvider, toil so faithfully

To make our dreams come true

Give strong and tender discipline

Though it is hard to do

A Father is God's chosen one

To lead the family

And point it to His will for life

Of love and harmony...

Sue Skeen

Daddy you are the Best

Daddy you are the best,

although you live in the west.

stay the way you are,

while your driving your sports car.

You couldn't be a better dad oh yeah,

don't go driving around mad

I love you for ever 'cause you'r really clever

Even though i puss and shove

I will still show all my love

Olivia Elliott & Simeran Mason

And not forgetting, this song’s goes particularly and exceptionally for those who had gone to meet the Almighty God. We will never say bye~!


THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE WHO JUST LOST SOMEBODY
YOUR BEST FRIEND, YOUR BABY, YOUR MAN OR YOUR LADY
PUT YOUR HAND WAY UP HI
WE WILL NEVER SAY BYE
MAMAS, DADDYS, SISTERS, BROTHERS, FRIENDS AND COUSINS
THIS IS FOR MY PEOPLE WHO LOST THEIR GRANDMOTHERS
LIFT YOUR HEAD TO THE SKY
CAUSE WE WILL NEVER SAY BYE

AS A CHILD THERE WERE THEM TIMES
I DIDN’T GET IT BUT YOU KEPT ME IN LINE
I DIDN’T KNOW WHY YOU DIDN’T SHOW UP SOMETIMES
ON SUNDAY MORNINGS AND I MISSED YOU
BUT I’M GLAD WE TALKED THROUGH

ALL THEM GROWN FOLK THINGS
SEPARATION BRINGS
YOU NEVER LET ME KNOW IT
YOU NEVER LET IT SHOW
BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME AND OBVIOUSLY
THERE’S SO MUCH MORE LEFT TO SAY
IF YOU WERE WITH ME TODAY FACE TO FACE

NEVER KNEW I COULD HURT LIKE THIS
AND EVERYDAY LIFE ROLLS ON I
WISH I COULD TALK TO YOU FOR A WHILE
MISS YOU BUT I TRY NOT TO CRY
AS TIME GOES BY

AND IT’S TRUE THAT YOU’VE REACHED A BETTER PLACE
STILL I’D GIVE THE WORLD TO SEE YOUR FACE
AND BE RIGHT HERE NEXT TO YOU
BUT IT’S LIKE YOU’RE GONE TOO SOON
NOW THE HARDEST THING TO DO IS SAY BYE BYE

BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE
BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE
BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE BYE
BYE BYE

AND YOU NEVER GOT A CHANCE
TO SEE HOW GOOD I’VE DONE
AND YOU NEVER GOT TO SEE ME
BACK AT NUMBER ONE
I WISH THAT YOU WERE HERE
TO CELEBRATE TOGETHER
I WISH THAT WE COULD SPEND
THE HOLIDAYS TOGETHER

I REMEMBER WHEN YOU USED TO
TUCK ME IN AT NIGHT
WITH THE TEDDY BEAR YOU GAVE ME
THAT I HELD SO TIGHT
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SO STRONG
YOU’D MAKE IT THROUGH WHATEVER
IT’S SO HARD TO ACCEPT THE FACT
YOU’RE GONE FOREVER
I NEVER KNEW I COULD HURT LIKE THIS
AND EVERYDAY LIFE ROLLS ON I
WISH I COULD TALK TO YOU FOR A WHILE
MISS YOU BUT I TRY NOT TO CRY
AS TIME GOES BY…


Abah, I really, REALLY does miss you!!

3.8

Having spent the last 6 months of my life at the place I dreaded and despised most, well, eventually the result is out~!

My 1st ever result, my 1st ever CGPA and what I’d achieved this last few months. And, frankly, it happened right after I spent the horrible-but-cool-in-a-way weekend, at Seremban. Right after I got back to KL, I just called my ONE of my best friends, fik the Makhayam, and we checked the result together. I was so, excited, curious, afraid… (Whatever feeling, you named it). But it was a relieved, that Fiq was there. For what it’s worth, at least, I still have someone to comfort me.

And I do need comfort -ance, after all. I got 3.8!! well, this thing came off as no surprise, since my friend, has already checked his results, and he got 3.55. and he was like, so confidence that I’d be much better than him. It turn out, yeah, I did! It was so overwhelming.

Fiq and I, we’d made a deal, that he would buying me, at this restaurant that we always hang out together, with our friends. Nothing fancy. Just a simple drink. But we got off really late from the cyber café. And it was already 4.30 in the morning.

So does Monday. I’d achieved what I considered the best result, but, no celebration for me. No nothing. Nada. Poor me. Well, in the night, I went off for a drink, with Sha, and she’s not even my real friends. Tuesday, well, at least Dila’s home. And we dine at the restaurant. Just like old times. With old friends, too. Unfortunately, Fiq doesn’t seem to like the idea of having best-friends-turn-foe in the same table. So, there I was. Caught up in the drama.

I was really looking forward for a present. A new handset. Or a motorcycle. That would be cool. But no. mom thought of buying me laptop. Duh. She already thought about it way before I even sat on the final exam. So as to help me in my work. If only she knew.
Of course, despite all this whining and drama, I still felt blessed. And bersyukur. Since, Allah has given me so much. Place in the University. The motor license. And now. This. Not many people even got the chance. And for that. Alhamdullillah.

.Someone's Someone.

Outrageous.
Kick in the teeth. Just, amazing.

Well, things people would do to get what they wanted. And of course, I’m no saint. Owh. Cut the crap. I’d spent last weekend, with a perfectly, completely stranger. And the completely stranger family. It all started on Friday. It was the morning. I was whoring around. And suddenly, there’s this person, practically begging me to come to Seremban.

And, what do you know? There I was, on my way to Seremban, by Commuter, which I had not been taken, since I was, say, 10 years old! Well, I do believe that the someone have a good heart, kind, and sincere. I just had to, since I’m already on my way. And it was, I bet, the last train.

Yeah, okay, nice and all, yes. But what I didn’t expected, is that the someone already married. And, I was shocked. Real Shocked. Pure Shocked. Trying to ruin someone’s wedding, that’s not my style. I don’t work that way. I kept thinking about what I said, to this friend of mine, about the exact same thing. How I despise it. And, back then, I’m exactly in his shoes. Gosh~!

So, there I was. Spending a weekend, with a total stranger, and the family. Well, there’s a tiny, good side, out of all this. There’s this two kids, completely adorable. I always love kids. And, sometimes when I was there, it’s the kid that I’m staying for. Well, that, and the fact that the house is rather far from town. So, frankly speaking,
I ‘m stuck.

Then there was that someone’s someone. The person was great, nice, and honestly, the only person who treats me well. So much that, it hurt me to see, how his significant other lying, straight to the person’s face. Well, I do believe that the person already knew that the partner is doping. But I guess, the person wants what best for their marriage. Well, no sir. I’m not going to get myself involved in one matrimony. It was too sacred.

And brace yourself! Someone did admire me. Well, you know how this little festival usually brings people to get to know new people, and eventually end up in love. Well, that’s exactly what had happened. Some girls like me. And asked for my number. Haha. Well, friend’s cool. Although, now that I’ve had that crisis, I strongly believe that I’m not going back to the place. No, Sir!

.Driving a Life.

I’ve been taking 4 hours of lesson now on my driving class. I was excited! And scared. All over. I guess that would’ve happen to just about everyone who undergo among their first-timers, to drive a car. And God! I’d drive all the way to Pasar Dato’ Keramat. Okey2. It’s nothing to others. But for me, it was huge! And all the times my feet were shaking so badly, I thought it was going to come out off my body. Luckily it didn’t.


At least I got it over with. Well, not really over, n but I was kind of hoping to finish things off, before I go back to UiTM Malacca. And oh yea! That reminds me of the result. Which will come out next Monday. 9th of June. Great. I was hoping, against all hopes, that I will get that 3.5 pointer, and obtain that DL thing. Not for me. For my mom. It was, after all, her hopes to get her son to study at university. And what do ya know, it’s me!


Oh, and that brings to a whole other things. I hate it! I mean, I always thought that I’m only doing this, studying Masscom, so as to satisfy my mom. Truth is, I’m not happy. One of my friend said, “Apsal nak heppy. Ko kat sane nak study. Tak payah happy2”. Was it even true? I mean, in order to excel, one has got to be comfy, and happy. But I’m not. The fact that there’s bunch of people who despise, and backstabbers, that didn’t help, too.


So, I guess I’m stuck in this. For three years. I know. I’m selfish. Keep complaining. While all the times, there were so many others who didn’t even have get the chance to even be in university. But, it’s just… I’d kinda lose all hopes. Seriously. Last year had not been great. And part of it, still rubs off me, I guess. I’d practically wasting my 18. I was really hoping for my life been, u know, fixed. But it’s not. It’s just not.


It was fun, though. I had all this cool friends. Fikri. Shahriman. Dyla. Nazarith (back when she was in). Even Zaty. Hell, I’d even thought us as the cast of Kawan. Silly, huh? And of course, there was Mel. Every step of it. School’s been out since, two years ago. And yet, we still see each other. Our friendship, it’s just amazing. Not to mention, he’s one of the friend that I still stay in touch with.


And for them, and mom, and my family. And, yes. To my beloved father, wherever he is! I know, he would be SO glad that I’m actually doing this. And I know, he would be there to take care of me! Always. Though I can’t see it. So, for all of this, I’m going to stay put. And no one would ever kick me out (unless, I got low marks, of course). I’m going to excel, with not just flying, SOARING, colors. Limelight, here comes Acap!!


Just a bit of lyrics, to get lift up my spirit. Anyway, the song’s great. Although, it’s kind of 3,4 months ago.


Aku sadar bukan mudah

Untuk mengejar mimpi indah

Pernah suatu ketika dulu

Ku punya harapan besar

Kini aku tak pasti

Dapatkan ku miliki

Sudah jauh kita tempuh

Kekalkanlah impian lalu

Mungkin ada hikmat

Yang akan menunggu

Di penghujung jalan

Biar nanti kecewa

Setidak-tidaknya mencuba

Jika halangan menduga perjalanan kita

Janganlah kau putus asa

Karena ku ada di sisi setia menemani

Andai semangatmu gugur

Genggamlah tanganku

Kita hampir ke situ

Adakala ku terasa

Ketabahan tak setegar

Tetapi apakan daya

Berhenti separuh jalan

Percayalah padaku

Aku yakin kita mampu

Biar orang katakan

Rapuhnya harapan

Bukan mereka tentukan lagi

Kau ada aku dan aku punya kamu

Amanlah akhirnya tetap bersama

celebrity, much?

Highlights of da day…I met Fazura!!

She was cute, and really, I’ve got Mel to thanks. I mean, it was such on short notice. He picked me, we went to KLCC to pick Rio up. And we went whoring around the Pavilion. Not 5 minutes passed and we already come across Aishah Sinclair. THE AISHAH SINCLAIR! Apparently there’s a release of Paris Hilton line of bags. Cant care less about it.

But there it was. Celebrities. We didn’t get the chance to take pix with Aishah though. There’s Raz and Rina from 8tv Quickie. Amber Chia. And whole other celebrities, which, of course, Mel know. As we’re about to leave, well, waddayaknow, Fazura was standing up nad posing for the camera. Its Fazura, or Ezora, owh, waddahell! But, it’s her! Live. I guess, I’m one of the lucky one. And she’s REALLY down to earth, too.

Well, suddenly, Pavvi became the celebrity spots as I noticed Siti Nurdiana and his hubby, Faizal something…not dat she’s really all dat worth it. Oh yea. We saw Zarina Julie Ann. Or maybe that’s her name. She kind of looked at us. But hell, ur not all dat hot.

Next, we were just like whoring around and it was, real simple. I asked Mel to come, he took me to Pavilion and we got to get a shot with Fazura. But of course, what’s a day without drama. Well, there are dramas. Mel and his, well, bulldog. And me with mine. And I only got back around 3o’clock. Walking. Alone. And it was “malam Jumaat” however, its aCap from the block. Had been on the roll since like, forever. Takes a really serious matter to bring me down.