i am superbored.
thats all i want to say.
this is my second last tuesday at the office, here in kelana jaya. and i think, days come and go, and the ten of us, the interns, no jobs to be done. bored. ;/
oh, and psttt! i am finally getting my torch, tonight. yayh! ;))
convo suppose to be fun. a pay for everything that one has worked so hard for. but right now, i dont really felt that way. snorted! explains the 'conceive' word. i have water running down from my nostrils. and i dont feel so good right now. sore throats, and whatsnot. and tomorrow's the day. to take the robes. claims it. and wear it later on Wednesday. yeapsie. my Convocation/ Graduation Day people. the time that i suppose i have been waiting for quite some times now. but now that it's here. sigh. i guess i am not that excited and giddy anymore. i should be. i have worked well, quite hard. countless sleepless nights. assignments. dramas. such. but comes today, i dont know. the feeling? not so much. maybe i'd felt good once i actually in that stage, wearing the robes and square hats and smiling that fake smiles toward the cameras. either way, i juts hope that this would be over with in a hurry. so that i could move on, fond myself some jobs to do this four months holiday. save up for that Thailand trip. and enter new semester. ;D
Wish me Lucks/ Congrats, friends!
'Well I've been afraid of changes, cause I've build my life, around you', landslide, Glee.
this is it. four months of breaks. still cant believe its already started. i mean, yeah, i wasn't all that eager at first, to study, and honestly i could've done better in the papers, but yeah. it ended so abruptly. there were we, just getting warmed up, knowing each others, finishing the seemingly never endings series of assignments. then voila! final. a gapless final test, i must add. (3 days in a row test? an experience, thought exciting, i wouldn't want to undergo it again.)
four months in a new place, it taught me a lot. i met all kind of people. and my blockmates, they're cool. yeah. well, called me like kolot, or old-fashioned, or even, not growing up cause i still needs to live in a dorm, but it is one hell of an experience. one that many wont get. and the goodbyes yesterday, was hard.
there we were, four months and several days. and the possibility to be in the same room next time? equal to none. some chose to rent, others, well, everyone has their own plans. but it was really, really good while it lasted. so, here's more about my housemates.
*Rocky - He's the Sabahan. 24, or 25th, i think. he downloads all this high quality movie, and series. he's the supplier for glee. and, yeah, though annoying at times, he sure cheered up the room. ;)
*Tom - Another Sabahan. And slightly older, too. most of the times he keeps to himself. but, a great listener. once a while, when im really moody or such, he'd listen, and said, 'takpa'. oh, and such a pious and devoted Christian, or Catholics. *blame my short term. ;)
*Reezal - He's the first i encountered, back in 2nd of January, i think. a business people. and yeah, he's cool. and who knows behind all that messy looks, he got the brains.
*Imran - Surprisingly, my former schoolmates, one that i did not recognize at all. *short term, again. sigh. well, he, sure is the brain. he always seems to be studying. if i remember correctly, its not like him, back then. but people change. i think he found his muse, during his poli years. well, a boast, most of the times. and always seems to involve with a series of accidents. i sure hope he'll take great care later.
*Qarami - From the same place I am. Melaka. Fast track. well, i may have say some bad things about him, well maybe more, but thats what his unique i think. the confidence level, and whats not. and and he's crazy about Bieber. while i don't have any troubles with bieber cant say the same for others. haa.
and then there's the guys next door. the one who supplies the vampire diaries series, the one that share the laughs with. the one that i always ask for foods. it is cruel, that uitm offers the college, let us build all the relationships, and not guarantee anything, in future.
but, in a way, too, i think it is a good practice. hey, you cant predict the future. and while we're at it, we really did enjoys it. so, whatever happens later, i think we at least have brief memories. bittersweet one. now, where have i read this somewhere? oh, right. in this very blog. some seven months ago, when i was, devastated to leave lendu. but i managed, dont i?
and now that the books no longer in my list of interests, i think i am going to make the very best of these holidays. i'll try to finally get a blackberry. come up with that shorthand skills suggested by lecturers, class or no class, one way or another. and well, just having a good time.
and it'll start next week. at my convocation. yes, people. i have finally graduates. from diploma, yeah, but graduate nevertheless. ;)
i just hope that the days will be kind. and sunshine will always be there to light the ways up. hell, i sounded like those of the counselors, or someone writing a song. i could get used to this. ;D
What to say. Comes last two final weeks, everyone will updates, tweet, talk, or worst case scenario, even dreams about the same things: ASSIGNMENTS. well, what to do? that is a student life. last minutes workd should probably be the best work, the motto that was widely used back then. now, however, the same phrases just cannot seem to be applied, again. sigh.
But yesterday, i felt really really down. maybe its the fatigueness, of not getting enough sleep. maybe its the fact that i have been busting my ass off while other people just seems to be focusing on their own works and DO NOT takes any things seriously. maybe its the fact that i missed my mom. maybe its the fact that i am all alone, as previously stated. but i hate to think that maybe all the answers are wrong. maybe i am not born to be a good journalist, anyway. NO. I REFUSE TO ADMIT THAT! if so, why does i felt so natural when interviewing people. why am i eager to ask people around. and why am i jumping up and downs when i get to see Najib, our PM last Thursday?
But yesterday. The presentation sucks big times. I even tried to lie the lecturers. He must be hating me that much. No wonder there. And by the time of the last class, I found myself crying. sobbing. putting my heads down. so that people will not see me. SIGH! i am pathetic. but prior to that, this classmate of mine. of whom people will look up and say, 'Oh, the Pious One'. well, she practically raised her voices. No need to do that. I assure. But yeah. Journalist cannot be to softhearted. But I just cannot control myself.
Hmmph. I just wished for the weeks to end and passed fastly. Bye Now. Gotta pray.
Loads of works. Loads of task. So many, So little time. Comes undergraduates level, eveything seems so tough. He wants this, She wants that. And it IS hard to satisfy many people, with different needs, at the same time. God.
For instance, I have this quiz, that I will endure with, in less than two hours. of which I havent brought myself to study yet. And a replacement class. And a weekend trip to see elephants, deers, aboriginals people and whats not. Come back, later the video production for Language awaits. Not to mention Management's proposal to be presented. And Research's Questionnaires to be fixed.
Whoa. All this. And not enough rest. I wonder how will I survive this thing? My only prayer is to God.
Tapi usaha kena ada lah Der!
Oh well, I can only hope for the best. This will all be over, in no times pun, Insya Allah.
And well, notes to self. Please Please Acap jangan lupa baca buku untuk Finals. Oh, and Guten Morgen people.
sentap tengok semua orang dok tag gambar camping. course aku? TIADA!
haihh. be contented. thats what i always say, and advise myself. tapi menengokkan semua tu. . . Argh! Ada futsal. Ada Fantasy. hmmmph. sedih.
Tengokla! aku pegi sendiri aje trip mana mana. finish! end.
come some points, this is what feels of ourselves. we either shut ourselves up, indulge in something, and have no cares about people around. this is what the writers feel much, these days. or, mungkin ini disebabkan pengaruh siri Roswell, lakonan Shiri Appleby, Jason Behr yang memang penulis minati suatu ketika dahulu. Woohoo!
either way, apa penulis mahu sampaikan bukan cerita yang saban hari dia tonton. tapi rasa yang kadang kadang penulis alami. semacam outsider. rasa tak keruan. not belong. jalan selesai? tutup telinga. tutup mata. buat hal sendiri. settle cerita.
di tempat baru, walau tiga bulan sudah berlalu, penulis masih rasa kekok dengan persekitaran. skill bawa motor, bolehlah sudah improve. lebih selalu dari tidak, penulis selalu rasa terasing dari dunia luar. mungkin kerana pilihan yang penulis buat, untuk tinggal di dalam, di Kolej Meranti, Seksyen 2 membuatkan dia agak terasing dan 'tak bersosial', bak kata seseorang.
In his mind, penulis pula berkata, 'biarlah dilabel anti sosial. bukan mereka yang hulur wang kat aku'. dan wang, di abad ke21 ini, memang sangat, amat crucial. every penny counts. niat penulis, jejak kaki, lanjut diri ke shah alam hanya satu. habis belajar, dalam kos yang paling minimum. tidak mahu susahkan ibu. ;D
and what is more crucial, penulis tidak mahu melayan apa apa perasaan kasih. suka, cinta. sayang. it will, no matter how good it is, be a distraction. dan penulis enggan perkara itu terjadi. walaupun, pada satu ketika, berada dalam lif sama dengan cinta hati penulis, membuatkan hati penulis rasa tak tentu arah, rasa hati penulis dapat dikawal. alhamdulillah. sekali lagi, return to the points of being aliens. yang mana makhluk ini, lebih kepada berseorangan. dan, jika Roswell jadi ukuran, cinta mereka banyak dugaannya.
on the other different matter altogether, aliens ada kelebihannya. satu, mereka punya kuasa. supernatural bukan suatu lagi debatnya kerana almaklum, ia tidak wujud. dalam pemikiran penulis, kuasa yang dia ada adalah satu. strongwill. dan kuasa super inilah yang menjadikan dia terus berjuang, isnin hingga khamis ke kelas walau adakalanya, hari sebelumnya semuanya lintang pukang. kedua, aliens boleh menyendiri. yang penulis sangat mahir lakukan. ada masalah. diam. silent is the best treatment, bak kata seseorang. mungkin aliens juga silent. tak pernah pula kita dengar mereka complaint apa apa, kan?
aliens atau tidak, penulis bersyukur. bukan semua ada ex5. bukan semua boleh duduk kolej. bukan semua dapat belajar uitm. bukan semua rasa apa yang penulis rasa. cuma satu. kan?
Oh. dan berbalik kepada edisi sebelumnya, yang penulis terus menjadi ketua projek, sepatutnya. satu perkataan: cancel. masing masing tuding jari. pihak atas tak buat kerja. itu ini. penulis tak mahu komen. penat sudah.
Aliens, Ashraf Hafizuddin. ;)
Gabung kan dua perkataan ini: Stress dan Tension? Apa anda akan dapat? STRESSION. Dan sekarang ini, inilah perasaan yang sedang si penulis, rasakan. Yes, stress adalah lumrah bagi pelajar. Biasalah, Tension assignments. yang kebanyakkannya, akan dihabiskan pada minit terakhir [hey, as they always say: last minutes' works is the BEST work]. Tapi, bagaimana pula dengan stress yang disebabkan oleh orang lain?
Penulis, yang dulunya pernah mengambil bahagian dalam persatuan, berfikir bahawa apabila tawaran untuk Ijazah tiba, 'okay, aku akan berusaha bersungguh sungguh dan takkan terlibat dengan benda benda lain.' Tapi, lain pula halnya. Dalam keadaan terpaksa, penulis dapati dirinya dalam persatuan/ kelab. Kelab untuk Kursus. Yang dia sendiri tidak pun meletakkan nama. Bukan itu saja, lambakan kerja dilakukan. Meeting dianjur pada setiap waktu, tidak semena mena. Padahal, dalam setiap meeting, higher authority-nya, NYDP dan YDP galak beramah mesra. Bergurau senda. Manakala, dengan jawatan sekadar WAKIL JAWATANKUASA SEMESTER 3, segalanya diuruskan.
'There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest', Elie Wiesel, American writer.
Bukan nama yang penulis mahu dan damba. Cukup sekadar ketenangan. Untuk menyudahkan assignment. Untuk fokus kepada goal untuk mendapat Dekan. Untuk menyudahkan Ijazah dengan Gred Kelas Pertama. Bukan juga niat penulis untuk tidak bersosial, tidak membuat kenalan, tidak mencari referens untuk masa kelak. BUKAN. Penulis cuma sudah lali, sudah lelah sewaktu di Diploma. Sekadar mahukan hidup yang tenang, dan bukan kesibukan selalu yang dicari. Walaupun, jauh di dalam hati, penulis masih mahu merancang, mengacara serta mengkordinasi majlis.
Cuma, penulis mahu, dalam perancangan majlis majlis seperti ini, kerjasama SEMUA pihak harus ada. Bukan sekadar tiga, empat kerat lelah buat kerja, lain nya menghela nafas, sekadar menanti khabar gembira.
Rintihan Sayu, Ashraff Hafizuddin.
that is among what i had picked these two months. well, shah alam has been, hectic, as what i had imagined it to be. but during these two months, much has i picked. i learned german. i met my new classmates. i learned what Journalism is all about. and then, theres cute little friends, along the way. shah alam is hectic, no doubt. i missed melaka. lendu. lekir. but, this is my choice. degree. shah alam. meranti. oh, and then some. i am now, an offical class rep, of MC 221 3C. with that, yeah, come responsibility. bigg responsibility. and with that, too, comes drama, no doubt. i have had my fair shares. that makes me think, as the saying goes.
"no matter where you go, the situation will always be the same. the drama will always be there. different is, the people, the actors. and that you just has to play along."
and play along is what exactly i am going to do. after all, six weeks have passed. another eight weeks to go. then its a four months holiday, cant wait! <3
*what UiTM Shah Alam looks like*
*and this, is S & T tower. for engineering faculty.