.Troubles.

KL, here I am again. Just for the New Year. Just for Annas. Well, not exactly. I came back, since I really need to enjoy the last weeks of Holiday, although, yeah, the Holiday's now over, and its back to Class, Assignment and all.


Being a PM, it seriously a Fucking Damn Tired job. But then, the memories are Sweet, way Sweet. Tapi, penat dye, x hengat. Huhu.


These last few days, I was real busy. No time for people. Sleep was pretty much limited. I just hope that the someone would understand. Out of all people.


If we are already in Love with Someone, would it be a Big Mistake if we were having sex with others?


Had the question being asked for me last year, I would say, "Hell, its just a sex. Not like it mean anything.". But then, a year has passed since. I met lots types of people. Involved in many kind of relations. Achieved lots of things. Things I would never even have imagined.


And thru the times, I learned that to be faithful is to stick with that person. But then, what if we are TOO sticking with them? Wouldn't it cause a problems?


And, a relations that being rushed, would it "cepatkan lagy proses pengClashan?", or so the said.


I dont know.

"It so Much Better to be Single", I have said once. I guess till now, I still believe that that's true. . .


And maybe, I wasn't to born to have any relation. Ever.

.Helping Hands.

Finally, after a while of not seeing any computer, (I am getting real pissed by the moment), well, finally here I am. In one of UiTM Malacca's computer.

And yeah, I can't really believed that I am doing all this thing. Becoming PM, and such. I thought of spending the last days at home, idling around. But then, well, I am doing this for the sake of my Mom. It turn out to be quite fun. Everbody's seem chilled and all.

Well, perkara paling dibenci adalah bangon bangon awal and tidoe lambat.
There's one time, the Speaker actually said that, he saw I was sleeping. God. Malu.

Still, there are, few things that really will make up for all the times spent here. I've decided to went back to KL. After all, I haven't gone to Dad's grave in a while. And a proper a Good-bye haven't been said. And yeah, I would really love to meet Annas, again.

Last Friday was a total drama. Drama in the Dancefloor sangat. PDA all over. And yea, I meet new friends.

Gosh, Falling In Love, all over again.

Just hope that, this time, it would be for real.

Another 7 days. Gowd. Wish me best Of luck. :)

.Dilemma.

The holiday is about to come to an end. Gosh. I hate it. The feeling you get when a holiday is about to be over. But, heck, I am not the only one.


Anyway, last two days, the HEP of UiTM Malacca called me. Regarding the “Pembantu Mahasiswa” post that I applied earlier. It was a bit of a really late last minutes notice, and frankly, I haven’t had enough of spending the days at home.


Of course, staying at house and idling around driving me nuts. But, it’s much fun, compared to the times at Malacca. No home works. No backstabbers. Less drama, (OK, that would be a lie, Malacca or KL the drama is just the same). But then, I don’t know, I planned to savour this last week with my friend.


I have juggling through the pros and cons. At least, some of it. And asked around people’s opinion about it. in return, I get some mixed answers, definitely not helping.


Staying Home at Lovely KL … or Become a Newbies Facilitator???


These are the Good Sides, of being a Facilitator, at least what I can list.

1. I can relive the moment when I was a freshies. (After all, it’s the December intake, just like when I got in).
2. There is some money being offered. (Not much, but then, some cash would be good).
3. I am quite afraid, had I turned down this opportunity, will it ever come again?
4. Of course, I’ll be doing some good deeds.
5. I have nothing better to do at my house anyway.

But then,

There are Appeals of Staying Home.

1. I get to spend another splendid, out-of-college week at my home-y house, of course. Nothing like it.
2. Outing with my dear friends, here.
3. Truthfully, I don’t really expect that I would get the offer, anyway.


All these, and add to it the fact that I don’t know much people there. What if, I turned to be out there, alone? Hmm. This thing really IS confusing. Oh, and quoting what the HEP said, “Pastikan anda ada di sana pada 21 Disember, pukul 2 petang. Bas akan bawa anda ke hotel di Tanjung Bidara.”

It will be this Sunday. Gosh. And I haven’t really decided. I’m not all THAT conscious about getting back. But, uhmm, I don’t know.

I suppose, after thinking, I do have Plan B. Which is, I joined the program for a week, and as soon as its Friday, I’ll board the bus home. And will be coming on 4th Jan. But then, that include money, of which I don’t really have. But staying there? Man!

Gosh. . .

I just, I don’t know what to do. I wish I didn’t pick up that damn phone.


p/s - as to when im posting this, I have already decided, due to mom's suggestion, that i'd be goin to Malacca tomorrow.

.Dilemma.

The holiday is about to come to an end. Gosh. I hate it. The feeling you get when a holiday is about to be over. But, heck, I am not the only one.


Anyway, last two days, the HEP of UiTM Malacca called me. Regarding the “Pembantu Mahasiswa” post that I applied earlier. It was a bit of a really late last minutes notice, and frankly, I haven’t had enough of spending the days at home.


Of course, staying at house and idling around driving me nuts. But, it’s much fun, compared to the times at Malacca. No home works. No backstabbers. Less drama, (OK, that would be a lie, Malacca or KL the drama is just the same). But then, I don’t know, I planned to savour this last week with my friend.


I have juggling through the pros and cons. At least, some of it. And asked around people’s opinion about it. in return, I get some mixed answers, definitely not helping.


Staying Home at Lovely KL … or Become a Newbies Facilitator???


These are the Good Sides, of being a Facilitator, at least what I can list.

1. I can relive the moment when I was a freshies. (After all, it’s the December intake, just like when I got in).
2. There is some money being offered. (Not much, but then, some cash would be good).
3. I am quite afraid, had I turned down this opportunity, will it ever come again?
4. Of course, I’ll be doing some good deeds.
5. I have nothing better to do at my house anyway.

But then,

There are Appeals of Staying Home.

1. I get to spend another splendid, out-of-college week at my home-y house, of course. Nothing like it.
2. Outing with my dear friends, here.
3. Truthfully, I don’t really expect that I would get the offer, anyway.


All these, and add to it the fact that I don’t know much people there. What if, I turned to be out there, alone? Hmm. This thing really IS confusing. Oh, and quoting what the HEP said, “Pastikan anda ada di sana pada 21 Disember, pukul 2 petang. Bas akan bawa anda ke hotel di Tanjung Bidara.”

It will be this Sunday. Gosh. And I haven’t really decided. I’m not all THAT conscious about getting back. But, uhmm, I don’t know.

I suppose, after thinking, I do have Plan B. Which is, I joined the program for a week, and as soon as its Friday, I’ll board the bus home. And will be coming on 4th Jan. But then, that include money, of which I don’t really have. But staying there? Man!

Gosh. . .

I just, I don’t know what to do. I wish I didn’t pick up that damn phone.


p/s - as to when im posting this, I have already decided, due to mom's suggestion, that i'd be goin to Malacca tomorrow.

Betacorp Reunion

. Air Assam McD's made my RAZ IDA NADIRA & I.


After not seeing my ex classmates, 4 BESTARI & 5 BESTARI (2005/2006) for a while now, I decided to went to the latest reunion, held on 14th December.
At first, I told myself that I wasn’t going. I don’t want to come, not unless, I had prove myself to be somebody. That I had my own transport and all. But, because of Ain, I came.


There was this Family Day at my mom’s workplace. I was feeling real guilt, since I decided not to go there. But then, I promised myself that I definitely go the next time it was held.


Anyway, the reunion went, well, quite boring at first. 10 am, at McD? Should’ve known better. But later, people stated to show up. And, Hazman came. I have been missing him since. And Raz, and Tika, and Afzan, and Fazilah, and Ain, and Dyla, and Fadhilah… well, lets just listed it.


The Lovely Girls of Betacorp


1. Afzan
2. Raz
3. Dyla
4. Fadhilah
5. Ayu
6. Tika
7. Ain
8. Fazilah


The Smoking Hot Guys of Betacorp


1. Ebal
2. Pa’an
3. Pi’ie
4. Sharir
5. Din
6. Pa’an Nizam
7. Fariq
8. Syafiq Izwan
9. Hazman
10. Acap, of course

Although not everybody comes, (ain’t all the reunion will see several people not coming in it?), the party went fine. We were talking, and catching up on the good old times. Gosh. I miss it, and I realized, I miss them. I don’t need to be someone else, because they knew me, as me. And forever will. Regardless the red hair and all…


The only boring thing is, well, we only spent the days at the McDonald. It was raining, so we count made our way to anywhere, pon.


They always say that pictures speak a thousand words. Well, let these speaks for themselves.


Oh, again, to all Betacorpian, I Love You Guys. We’ll just have to do this again any other time. And Thanks Bunch Ebal for the ride.

.Mel’s Birthday Bash.

.The Fabulous Party People.



.Acap & Fabulous Ari.



.Acap & Fabulous Alice.



.Mels with the Fabulous Gifts.


It took me a while to write this. Well, busy, at home. Haha.


Anyway, as I said, it is the BEST BDAY PARTY I ever had. Terbaek, The Greatest. Haha. I don’t know if anyone notices, but Kobby Fierce and I do contribute, at least part of it. It all start well, accidentally I saw Kobby onlining. And I already had this idea, of doing something at Mel’s party. So, we were brainstorming, and comes,


1. Accessories for the party
2. Gifts for Mel
3. Cakes

So, secretly, we met up a day before the party. Oh, the ite before, I was fighting my butt, and life, to ‘rempit’ and find the accessories. The ‘Feeewwitt’ thing, Alphabest and all. The next day, well, I met Kobby, and we bought the ‘Pop’ thing. (It would have been good if we could played it in the Karaoke room, but, sadly, we cant). Anyway, we went to Pavilion, and searched for the cake.


Zen seems nice, but then, it was RM 52. So, we made our way to Secret Recipe. What do you know? Its more expensive there. Back to Zen. Then, while we were finding gifts (more like Kobby finding the gift), we surprisingly, saw Chef Wan. I was way excited.


Anyway, as the night passed, it was 12 o clock. And I was at Mel’s. The way I planned it all the times before. And I sang ‘Happy BIRTHDAY TO You”, together with Fikri. Sigh. That’s the first drama. Apparently, he wanted to join in the fun, but Bad seems not too excited by it. I was torn apart, yet again. . .


The next day, after Friday prayer, I made my way to Mel’s. And presenting, Malaysia’s Next Top Mak Andam, Acap. Haha. We were dressing up, and I was working on my gift, at his house, using his own printer. Pathetic. And dramas of the day comes. Alice was late, and as we made our way, the streets were packed! But we made our way through.


And the room, it was huge. That’s when Kobby break it. That we had met te day before, and that we have few decorations to made. And slowly, here comes the guests. Ady, Chin and Ari were the first one to come.

That, followed by Azahar (yeay!). And then, came Alice, Putri and Shila. These girls were way cool. The party started, but frankly, I have been digging up the foods way before the party was officially started. Cant help it, since it was BUFET Bash a.k.a Eat ALL You Can Bash.



The rest, as they said, is history. We camwhore-ing, karaoke-ing, bitchy-ing, and having Fun. Yeah. It was fun. The foods was WAY Delicious. There was all sorts of cakes. Spaghettis. Rice. Chickens. Lobsters. Oysters. (Hint for Ari…Haha). And lots more. And here comes the cakes. And, Opening Presents Session. I’m quite glad, knowing I was part of this. The karaoke went to 11 o clock.



Oh, Ady’s voice really is tip top. As someone as said “Meleleh dah pon”.



Then, come the after party. Where the Real drama begun. Apparently, we were waiting for Danang who had a prom. And there were only two cars since Putri has left. So, while waiting, I saw the guy from Seremban, that I did mention in one of my blogs. And Fikri was pushing me. I thought of going to after party, (which happened to be at the club) with the crazy kids. But well, as always I accompanied Fikri. It wasn’t all bad. I saw Shah, which I had mention in blogs, too.


I was dancing like crazy. After so many months not being there, well, there I was. I met Fikri’s friends. Yoko, Shafiq, Ryan… And Mel left me. We get out from the club at three, and made our way to NZ. Fikri was, again, being Fikri, and I was, at Mel’s house, being Acap. It was a fucking tired day. But, definitely ONE OF THE BEST DAYS EVER.



P/s – at NZ, Mel, Kobby and Azahar all said the same things, that I should move over Annas. But I don’t know. The feeling was there. Sigh.

.Mel’s Birthday Bash.

It took me a while to write this. Well, busy, at home. Haha.


Anyway, as I said, it is the BEST BDAY PARTY I ever had. Terbaek, The Greatest. Haha. I don’t know if anyone notices, but Kobby Fierce and I do contribute, at least part of it. It all start well, accidentally I saw Kobby onlining. And I already had this idea, of doing something at Mel’s party. So, we were brainstorming, and comes,



1. Accessories for the party
2. Gifts for Mel
3. Cakes



So, secretly, we met up a day before the party. Oh, the ite before, I was fighting my butt, and life, to ‘rempit’ and find the accessories. The ‘Feeewwitt’ thing, Alphabest and all. The next day, well, I met Kobby, and we bought the ‘Pop’ thing. (It would have been good if we could played it in the Karaoke room, but, sadly, we cant). Anyway, we went to Pavilion, and searched for the cake.


Zen seems nice, but then, it was RM 52. So, we made our way to Secret Recipe. What do you know? Its more expensive there. Back to Zen. Then, while we were finding gifts (more like Kobby finding the gift), we surprisingly, saw Chef Wan. I was way excited.


Anyway, as the night passed, it was 12 o clock. And I was at Mel’s. The way I planned it all the times before. And I sang ‘Happy BIRTHDAY TO You”, together with Fikri. Sigh. That’s the first drama. Apparently, he wanted to join in the fun, but Bad seems not too excited by it. I was torn apart, yet again. . .


The next day, after Friday prayer, I made my way to Mel’s. And presenting, Malaysia’s Next Top Mak Andam, Acap. Haha. We were dressing up, and I was working on my gift, at his house, using his own printer. Pathetic. And dramas of the day comes. Alice was late, and as we made our way, the streets were packed! But we made our way through.


And the room, it was huge. That’s when Kobby break it. That we had met te day before, and that we have few decorations to made. And slowly, here comes the guests. Ady, Chin and Ari were the first one to come.

That, followed by Azahar (yeay!). And then, came Alice, Putri and Shila. These girls were way cool. The party started, but frankly, I have been digging up the foods way before the party was officially started. Cant help it, since it was BUFET Bash a.k.a Eat ALL You Can Bash.



The rest, as they said, is history. We camwhore-ing, karaoke-ing, bitchy-ing, and having Fun. Yeah. It was fun. The foods was WAY Delicious. There was all sorts of cakes. Spaghettis. Rice. Chickens. Lobsters. Oysters. (Hint for Ari…Haha). And lots more. And here comes the cakes. And, Opening Presents Session. I’m quite glad, knowing I was part of this. The karaoke went to 11 o clock.



Oh, Ady’s voice really is tip top. As someone as said “Meleleh dah pon”.



Then, come the after party. Where the Real drama begun. Apparently, we were waiting for Danang who had a prom. And there were only two cars since Putri has left. So, while waiting, I saw the guy from Seremban, that I did mention in one of my blogs. And Fikri was pushing me. I thought of going to after party, (which happened to be at the club) with the crazy kids. But well, as always I accompanied Fikri. It wasn’t all bad. I saw Shah, which I had mention in blogs, too.


I was dancing like crazy. After so many months not being there, well, there I was. I met Fikri’s friends. Yoko, Shafiq, Ryan… And Mel left me. We get out from the club at three, and made our way to NZ. Fikri was, again, being Fikri, and I was, at Mel’s house, being Acap. It was a fucking tired day. But, definitely ONE OF THE BEST DAYS EVER.



P/s – at NZ, Mel, Kobby and Azahar all said the same things, that I should move over Annas. But I don’t know. The feeling was there. Sigh.

.Happy Birthday Mels.

Well, what can i say, the headlines pretty much says it all.

My VERY, VERY, VERY BEST friend just turned 19 two days ago.

The best thing is, I was with him in the 11th December night, with Makhayam. and there we were, singing Happy Birthday to You, for him.

what went on the actual day, well, so Much More interesting.

but, since I am SOO Fucking Tired to tell, lets keep it to the next day.

again, to my VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY BEST BUDDY, happy 19th Birthday. May You Have All That You Asked For. And May Years Ahead Brings LOTS Of happiness to you.

Oh,and..

Since Badrul Muzammil is going to grade pretty soon, let us all wish him a Happy Graduation too. May He would be passing the Exams ( each and evry single one of them), with a flying, hell, SOARING Colour.

:)

the L.O.V.E part II

After much postponed dates, eventually, I met up with Zeus a.k.a Eby Khuzaer. Hurm, I was damn nervous, I thought will stop beating. But, upon meeting him, the nervousness subsided, a bit. My first impression, when I saw him was, well, he’s bit short than me.


But he’s quite good looking. Oh, and I noticed, the accent. He’s Malay alright, but something not quite right. And he kept talking in English, in his slow voice. Gosh. But, he seemed charming that way. just as the dates heat up, well, we went over to see his aunt. Very nice lady. Oh. And on-the-go one.


We only went to KLCC Park. And as it was raining, we went to dine at the road leading to Pavi. It was sweet. We even hold hand while eating sandwiches. And all the while, he was looking and admiring my eyes.


“You have very beautiful eyes. Those who cant see it because they are blind”.


I was like, OK. But, later the date turned well, to a horny site. We were making out at the Park. I don’t want it to, since it is our first date, (will there be others, well, lets see…), but don’t want to disappoint him.


As the date came to an end, I can tell we both want it not to. He keeps asking if he could crash in my house. I was like, no. and he invited me to his instead. as much as I wanted to, well, I promised my mom to be back home. And frankly, it’s our first date.


“NO SEX IN FIRST DATE”, they always said.


I don’t know if I am making the right choice. What about Anas? Hurm. God. It SOO much better to be single. Single AND Loving it.

.Minal 'Aidil Wal Fai'zin. part II

Its Raya, again.

This time around, its Aidiladha.

The time where we Sacrifice, not just for the COWS,GOATS... but also for everything.

Let Us All Be Blessed By Him.

Sacrifice for a Better Life, so that we can Be a Better Person.

Happy Aidiladha 1429 Hijrah.

:P

Rawang’s Experience

Referring to the headlines, well, I just recently spent some quality times, ( a week, to be frank), at Rawang, one of my best Friend’s, Fikri the Makhayam house. Just like I did, on last semester break. It was, well, bittersweet. It all started on 27 November. Fikri texted, and sad that he was coming. So there I was, waiting for him. While Mel has impatiently for me, as he has another plan to Mali’s.

It wasn’t till 12 something that Fikri came. It was raining. and there was Izzaty, the ‘girl that always trying to pretend to be guy, but cant since she doesn’t has any penis’, and this Pengkid. At that point, I know I am not going to like this. Well, Fikri drive us to Shah’s, another Pengkid like Izzaty, but a much nicer one. Now, it is not that I don’t like Pengkid. Hell, I even thought they as wonderful, and cute some times. But I knew Izzaty, and Shah. Long way back.

Anyway, that’s all that we done. And Fikri sent me home, with this crazy idea of him. ‘Jomlah pegi Rawang, dah lame x jumpe.’ And I got stuck, as I always did. And, next thing I knew, I was already fast asleep, and missing Subuh prayer, at his home in Ampang. The next day, I missed Friday’s prayer. No thanks to his mom.

And, what do you know? Fikri’s auntie came that Friday to Rawang, asking him to sleep at their home that Friday night. What can I do? I just had to follow. Though I didn’t really want to… the next day, we went to Times Square. To ‘support Ejat in OIAM audtion’, so to cover. Syikin wanted to see her new boy, and Fikri wanted to see his friends. And that lefts me, ‘left out’, again.

And straight from Times Square, Fikri’s auntie picked us up, straight to Rawang. Thought that we were coming back there. And I left my phone charger. Oh, wait a minute. How can I left it, if the auntie said herself, ‘Tak payahla bawak barang sume’. So, up till now, my chargers are still in Saujana Impian, cause of Fikri. Shit.

There always are silver lining beneath the dark clouds. In this case, well, I manage to buy a RM10 cardigan/sweatshirt and a belt (sadly, its ruin now). And her auntie took us to this cool Restaurant, with a ship in the middle of it. And a Western cuisine offered.

Only the next day, did Fikri started to bake cookies, the real reason I came to his home. And, as for Fikri’s promise to be back by Selasa, well, it’s a lie, as always. It is Khamis instead. Sigh. Spending the days at Rawang, well, it’s not all that good. Yes, I haven’t seen him in a long time. But I don’t know. Things just have not been the way it used to. Fikri got new friends. Mel, too. It’s good for them, since I was not here. But, I can not help but feeling a bit of jealousy. But people change, so do us, I guess.

Monday, it was rather sad, since we, (Fikri’s dad and I), came to Keramat, even drive through my flat. But just goes straight. I wondered how my brother was doing in his Accounting paper.

Anyway, things didn’t get any better. You know how after you spent too many times with someone, you get tired of them? Well, that’s exactly what happened to me, to us. And the fact that his parents keep to do this and that, well, it was overwhelming. And I was beginning to miss Chiko, my lovely laptop. I left him while he can’t even be turned on. He is OK now, though.

Finally, the visit comes to an end. Khamis, his parents send both of us, with dramas, of course. Fikri wanted to accompany me to Low Yat, but I just didn’t feel like having company. And he was just freaking jealous since Mel called. He has been that way, the whole week. I just, I don’t know. Will all people please stop being that way? I had friends, and I’m balancing it. Getting all jealous isn’t going to make it any better.

It was raining, Khamis. But, I was running, from KLCC, all the way to Low Yat. I was soaked. But, Chiko needed to be heal, so to speak.

In the night, Mel called. He just comes back from Mid Valley, with Kobby. And I accompany him, sending Kobby back to Wangsa Maju. Gosh. I missed him. Its been a week since that crazy days. And what do I know? I missed lots of things. And he went to Club, last Friday. As if that wasn’t enough, the next day was his parents’s Wedding Anniversary. It was sweet. And the cake’s tiramisu. And I was there. Such nuisance.

As bad as it sounds, there are great things in the whole week. Saturday, Awal Ashaari was taking escalator, just beside us. And I let it slips. Just like that. Knowing Fikri, he was like, ‘Kenapa nak ambil gambar dengan die? Bla, bla…’ Its artist, bitch! And the whole week, I was texting bot of Annas and Eby. I like them both. Both of whom I haven’t see. Annas seems interested in me, much. I don’t know.

Next semester break, I don’t know if I’m coming to Rawang still, or not. Let’s just wait and see now, shall we?

Fun and Enjoyment

Last week, and this week, has seen me taken a very well, relax mood. Been to some cool places. Spent times with new ‘Cool’ friends, and such.

Well, on my second weeks out of UiTM, at first, it was boring. And spending so MANY times at home, it finally get to me. Thought about working, but, well, after considering all of these, decided not to, instead…

1) I am SOO not in the mood for working.
2) It will only be for couple of weeks.
3) And, I guess, I just didn’t need the money, bad enough.

Thanks God, Mel comes to the rescue. Last weeks, (23 till 30 of November), I had my, what you can call, one of the best weeks ever. Wednesday, 26 November, however I must say, the very best day, and night, for that matter. I was rather bored. Suddenly Mel called and asked to accompany him for ‘lunch’. I was like, OK. Then, we’ll meet up with Kobby. And then there’s Danang. And then., there’s Rio. So there we were, at 3 0’clock, suddenly on our way to, on a VERY short notice, Mid Valley. Gosh.

But it was great. Although I did get that ‘left-out’ feeling nonetheless, it was fun. They made fun of me. But, best thing about it is, they sort of turn in into a joke. One that I can tolerate with. Hints for some people.

Introducing… star in the making, Siti Nurhalicap. Haha. The pictures wont be displayed, though. Then there was Azahar Abdullah. It felt good to see him, after one whole year. Not that we are really close. But, I don’t know. He is such a funny guy. Then, after much Walking, Camwhoring and Dissing (and of course, Scanning…Haha), we left Mid. Thought the crazy day is coming to an end. But, in a short while, I find myself packing things for a sleepover and heading over to Uptown. With Mel, and Kobby. It was raining, though. No thanks to these two kids who were singing, badly at Uptown.

And then, enter Ellis, and her friends. Mel’s T.A.R College mates. They were all COOL. Especially Ellis. Mel has talked about her several times. But, seeing her live, well, it just insane. She is loud, but seriously aa fun person to live with. Oh. And she even treat us to Shisha, right in Mali’s. My FIRST ever Shisha experience. And nothing I would like to change about it.

After a few, maybe more, act of sucking, the wors seems rather dizzy. And mom, I know I promised myself to be back for Subuh, but my head hurts, like it was going to explode.

We managed to come back to Mel’s, somehow alive, at 3 something in the morning. And as if that wasn’t enough, Kobby taught me how to dance. Now, put your Hands Up! Haha. He’s a great teacher.

But seriously, last Wednesday has been fun. I went to Mid Valley, Danau Kota, Mali’s. Big thanks go to Badrul, and Kobain.

.Relieved.

It really is a relieved, since we have, FINALLY, finished up all the papers. I can safely say, now that one burden is over, (although during the exams, I managed to come late, to ALL the papers), its ime to party.

I still don’t know yet, what I will be doing this semester’s break. Maybe whoring, sleeping, and catching up all the good times I missed in KL. But then, the money is rather tight. Hurm, well, that’s for me to think, later…

Anyway, now that I’ve been here, for like, 3 days now, I must say, I had the greatest days. First, with my room mates. Here’s the thing, I always come out late during exam. During the last day, 18th, it was raining, and our bus is at 6 o’clock. And, I only finished paper at 5.15. I was running, and thank God we managed to arrive to bus station, right in time.

After spending a not-so-pleasant night at my friend’s, we made our way back to KL. At this point, I had really missed my KL friends. UiTM, well, it’s holiday, so I want to pretty much spend the day with old friends. Tension was running high at this moment, and this Malacca noks, pretend to know everything about KL. Like duh. I was the one who lives here. Although it was fun, I just cant wait to get home, though.

The next day, I spent it with Mel, my bestiest. I went to his home, hoping to get my lens. Then, the news come out, where Leona Lewis, Beyonce, Christina Aguilera, and Hilary Duff has released the Deluxe Edition of their albums. So, we went to Sg Wang, on a short notice. There, we met up with Kobain, who is now, well, Kobain Fierce. Haha. Put a Wig on It, anyone?

Then, we went to Old Town, in Taman Melati. Gosh, so close to my Auntie’s.
Next, I spent the night with Mel’s. It felt great, since, after 3 weeks not seeing each other, we met up, and our friendship still sit in a strong ground. And I was thinking, my UiTM friends would never do this to me. Well, they are the friends in need, not the friend indeed. And they say all the worst things, hoping us not to feel irritated. Whateves. Now that I’m in KL, its time to forget matters, and have fun.

The night continues as Fikri the Makhayam, who now have car license (sigh, finally), pick me up and we went strolling around. I was pretty much beat up, by then, but he is still ONE of my bestiest, so, I accompany him. And he introduces me to Jay and Shark. I was a bit jealous, since he had new friends. But, it’s good for him, since now that I am gone, he needs someone to spend the time with.

I only managed to sleep at 3 0 clock. Gosh. It was KL life for me, after 3 weeks haven’t set foot here. And, yes, I am DAMN FUCKING relieved to take a vacation from Alor Gajah.

.OverNight.

Last Sunday was cool. Way cool. The first overnight of my life, and there's nothing i'd like to change about it. I'd be with two of my Bestiest, here in UiTM, Lulu, the Techtonic and Cool gal, and Uwais, one who would always look up for me. Every minutes of the night was real great, since the first step I made into Lulu's car, to the very step I took out of her car.

It was Syerie who called and asked me. Since we just finished with Human Comm, i think it'd be great for us. Gosh. Now this, could be called a REAL tension. Well, to start things off, we, (after the Ramadhan month), went to dine in Borahan Seafood @ Taman Perindustrian Zarina and ate the delicious Barbecue Sauce.

Next, we made our way to Jonker Walk. My first time being there, too. It was someting like Petaling Street. Malacca Version of it, at least. Lulu was searching for a Cheongsam, and my, she looks cute in it. But then, this 'Makcik' scold us, after trying, taking pictures and not buying it. Heheh. On the same street, we tasted this delicious and just to die for, ice jelly something. Lulu's treat, that is.

Next, we moved to Banda Hilir, Melaka. Now i know, that there are clubs here, for real. The Office really did got my attention, one where you have to dress formally, like you just get back from office. Quite cool. Plan to go with Azzah, some other time.

Lulu also took us to Jetty, both new, and old Jetty. While the old one (located in Kampung Melayu Portugis) is quite forgettable, the new one is Havoc. We karaoke-ing, sing our throats out, shaking our booty (hahah), and it was worth it. Para laila Bamba..

Next, we spent therest of the night in Pantai Puteri. Last semester, I was writing an article about it, and finally I got to see the beach right in front of my eyes. We were sort of waiting for the sunrise, sadly, it comes from the other part. By then, all of us has gotten really sleepy. We ate breakfast in Sungai Petai, and then time to go back.

The UiTM guard seemed suspicious. Hell, why would students opt for a breakfast? But then, still let us go. All in all, it was way better outing rather than the previous one. Well, let the pictures speak for itself.

:P

.007:Quantum of So-Boring-Lace.

it was in the middle of examination weeks.
and the tension, atmosphere finally gets to me. cant wait to get back to KL.

well, i wasn't in the mood for outing, either. but several people manage to get me in the car, walk a bit, dine in one of Mamak Stall, and finally settle in with a James Bond. Sigh. Looking at me, people wont expect me to watch that kind of genres. Dont get me wrong. I do know, and love, several action movies. Terminator Chronicles, Gone in 60 Days... just to name a few (since i only know that). Even James Bond, the past installations, do intrhues me. Die Another Day, James Moore versions, and such... is likeable.

but then, yesterday, as i watched it in Dataran Pahlawan's GSC, it just didnt get to me. okay, well, i started with my thoughts, 'the movie is gonna be boring', but then, i shook that thoughts away, and still watched. but its become so, how do you put it, BORING, that i slept, eventually.

the movie started off with James Bond being chased by some sort of CIA agents. the action was quite cool. the car chasing. Fighting to death. but then, comes the 'berbual' part. and what do I know, i slept. then, it became so boring that, there was this 'Biawak' in the desert, and i said, 'EH, buaya'. well, after that, the action continues.

James Bond, what do ya expect? Women all over. Sadly, the girl he fucked with, got killed, with lots of oil around her naked body. Pity.

Well, i do like the accent though. Since almost every part of the movie filmed in Spain sth, and I do really like Spain. Influenced by Maria Mercedes and Rosalinda, i guess.

All in all, I am sticking with my favourite genres of all. Horror. Bring back the good old Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Carrie, Poltergeist... even I Know What You Did Last Summer.

.last few days.

I'm quite glad, now. since we're already in our last week, here in UiTM Malacca. All the class has finished since this Tuesday. (as to when I write this thing, it's Azan Maghrib, and it's Thursday).

if it was to me, i have long ago pack my bag, and BYE2 Malacca. but then, well, we still have several matters. we have to change our KOKO, and submit assignments, (which, hatefully, due tomorrow). and, to top things off, we' MassComm in Malacca, are having tests, on weekend, for God's Sake. Well, it wouldnt be the first, but, hell~! Weekend. Last weekend of Ramadhan. People were like, having last minutes 'Raya Party' and all. And we have to sit for our Final Test. Writing and Public Speaking, that is.

this week, it had been crazy. People were like, all shout, all making faces. And, somewhere along the lines, I dont FUCKING know how i get myself involved.

Problems with classmates. And then, Assignments. And then, Room mates. Pegghs. and i could stay steady. and the fact that if have red hair. WTF??! So what? People are having blondes, perples whatever fucking colour.

there are good things, out of this, though. Mass Comm, we'll have a tea party. this Saturday. and just recently, i sit and talked with, get this, Liyana Jasmay~!!

and, i modelled for Dosh, my Room Mate, for his storyboard. huhuh~!
i could proudly say, 'wa caya sama lu, la dude!!', to myself.

:P

.masa.yang.lama.

times, when we waited, it would be long, way long. kita kan selalu pkir macam tue. hurmx.

well, saye tak terkecuali. saye, menunggu..untuk ape? ntah. mati? maybe. someone to love? maybe, not.

wat it would felt like, dimandi, dikafan, disembahyangkan, and dikambus? alone. in the darkness. di dunie, kite hu~ha. hu~ha. di sane? it surely wont feel the same, will it? too much conciousness? hurmx. maybe it is my time to be conscious. i was always having fun. now that the final dah nak dekat, maybe its time to be serious.

for those whom i had loved, all the way from standard 6, it was fun knowing all of you. i cant say all the names, simply because i just wouldnt remember. tapi, all of these people, dorang jadikan saye, saye yang skarang. i may not be perfect. i may not be handsome, i may not be wise, i may not be rich, i may not wear expensive clothes, but, saye adalah saye.

(sebenarnya, saya pon xtahu wat am i trying to say here)

but i really am who i am. there's nothing i would like to change. saye amat gembira. and, walaupon sekarang saya ada problem besar, (malangnya, saya masih jadik orang ke3, yang padahal, saya x pon), and saya xpegi meeting komed last week (orang akan kate saya x wat kerja), and to top things off, saya betol2 windue BANGAT sama KL.

and for now, let people drool over me. i am sick and tired of being people's puppet. i am my own 'tuan'. now, its payback time.

call me a bitch, call me a whore. cal me whatever you would like for.

but i am me, a simple and real me, and i will always forever be.

.Three Weeks.

oh~!


let it come early. i am just sick and tired of malacca already. since evrything that has happened, i just dont feel like coming back to UiTM anymore. well, i am still here, now, even though its really hard. and since the Raya Break, my mind still pretty much in KL. Im not saying that Malacca is bad, well, maybe just the people living in it, which, surprisingly, not even pure Malaccan.

well, i just hope for the best now. this weekend, we'll be having Final Test, for Public Speaking and Writing. gosh~! i really hope i could do well. my carrier mark, isnt all that great. i was REALLY hoping to get another DL.

hurm, for the upcoming three weeks, which i will be spending here, in UiTM, sigh, well, i just hope that it would turn out for the better. and all assignments, presentations and such will be done in a much better way.

.XOXO.

.Minal 'Aidil Wal Fa'izin.

already in KL. for three days now. gosh. it was tiring.

accompanied Fikri to KLCC on Saturday. oh. for the first time, I'll be wearing Topman. and Crazee Causa. and Romp. and it was all as a gifts from Fikrie. huhuh. kudos to him.

and yeterday, went to Carrefour and bought things for Raya.

Oh. and i Drive. Finally, I already received my liceense, the exact one, which had my pix in it. was soo happy.

and, during the evening, i went to Bazar. and I met my old classmates, and schoolmates. Gosh. How things had changed. and I met Nik Hafeezi. it was last year, when we were both not doing anything. and it was also Ramadhan. and, well. Gosh. How many has changed, while in fact, it had only been a year.

anyway. in another two days. we'll be celebrating Aidilfitri. and Im going to spend it here. Hurm. i Dont Care. it doesnt even feel like Raya. anywhere. Kelantan. KL. Just the same. well, i have went to some ceramah, and such. and they said the 'Aidilfitri', literally translated will be 'Kembali Kepada Fitrah', or 'Back to Basic'.

the Basic refers to what we were, before Ramadhan. it would be such shame, if we go back to our once sinned life. and this one, i said it to myself. this year only, i have done things im not so very proud of. LOTS OF THINGS. I just hope i could change for the better. after all, isnt that what this Fasting Month all about. make yourself go better?

hopefully, i'll be able to make it real. oh. and ryte now, i just want to be, solo. like i did, last sem, and years before. single, happy and loving it.

any way. the holiday is packed with assignments. hopefully i would be able to complete it.

anyway. to all who read, have VERY HAPPY AIDILFITRI~!
and im SOO SORRY, for every wrongdoings, harsh words...
oh. and may dis year's Syawal be the most sweetest Syawal for all of us.

:p

...KETUPAT RENDANG SILA NIKMATI KWAN,
PENAT MEMASAK MALAM KE PAGI...LALALA...

too Late?

and the dramas continue...

i still havent been able to solve it. the fact that the person gives a good response, really didnt help, at all. gosh. i can only imagine about this sort of thing, in previous years. and now, to be in the exact position which i dreaded so much...it was hard.

im very much still sad, since i didnt have a chance to give the person, all this letters which i wrote. i can possibly text, since the circumstances didnt allow us to. also, i've bought 'kad raya' specially for that person. but, then, last nyte, the person already made to move to the village. i guess we havent a 'jodoh' after all. if u could called this jodoh.

but then, there was somethinmg special between us. okay. usually, i will be the one who would ended up getting hurt, and theres the fact that i always come second. hell.

for all i know, the person didnt even care about me. but then, the person do care.

and, just how do you tell someone you loved, who love you back, but is torn between two people?

the person is not to be blamed. well then, should i? or, the circumstances?

i just wish, everything will turn out great.

and, that, i will end up with the person. someday. one day..

as for my gurl, i really do like, hell love her.

tp. im too afraid. of rejection. and that i would breaking her heart sometimes.

whatever it is, its Ramadhan, now.

oh, almost over. in next two days, i'll be boarding bus to KL. yeay~!!

SALAM AIDLIFITRI to ALL~!!

hopfully this year's Ramadhan bring lots of goodness...

dramas, Dramas.

well. its been almost three weeks now, im being here at malacca.
gosh~! it is boring. i guess i really do loves kL.

hurm, for better or for worst, i am staying, though. well. i still havent settle things up with that person. gosh. at times, i just feel that i dont want to do this anymore. im sick, and tired. everytimes i did see the person, well... it just hurts me since i cant be with the person.

but, after much dramas, and again, being caught redhanded, well, i now realize that the person's not for me. or is it? i dont know...

even my studies been dropiing down. i had exams last two weeks, and my results ain't that good. i really do hope for another miracle to happen, and i'll get DL, again. even, our lecturer, Ms Farah, was furious at us since we havent excel. i promised myself, there and then, taht i would work hard. and, tried to forget the person.

oh. i really did miss KL. and my Mom. and Mel. and Fiq. i longed to live the life i once lived. everything was so simple. and i wont even think about all the troubles. Sigh.

but then, i would not experience the life at UiTM. the so called "UiTM di Hatiku". but then, there are good things. for instance, i am now officially the new secretary of KOMED. hahah. i cant even thought myself as being a clerk. but last nyte, it had been fun. we have the Photo Shoot. now i knoe, IT IS HARD TO BE A MODEL.

oh~!
i wanted to come back to KL and get my new brand car license!!
let next friday come out early...

dear, Diary

Dear diary.

I have been here for only 4 days. And, I do not know. It is just that, things have been on a roller coaster. I, just, well, at first, I was glad to be here. As I would then get a chance to see him. The guy that I loved so much. Loved being the word.

But then, I don’t know. I guess, he only manages to say that on the holiday. We hardly ven saw each other. Except for last to nyte. Only to find him with, well, he’s beloved. Not that I should be mad, or anything. They should live their life, happily as they wanted it to be.

But I just couldn’t deny the feelings. What is up with him?? He told me, he loved me. And really mad since I didn’t reply the messages. But now that im here. He just keeps silents. People are against us. LOTS of people. Faiz. Fazrul. Dosh. His boy, of course. And, the only supporter I have, is Syerie. And Azzah.

I don’t know. Maybe I should not meddle with their relations. Well. Yeah. I have all the sms –ers. But I just, I had fallen head over heels at him.

But, well, I guess I just played in the wrong lane. As, well, I don’t know. I will never get him. And frankly. I don’t even care. Owh. Who am I kidding? I do care.

Either way, I am living my life as how I wanted It to be. Or, is it? i don't know.
well, its surely my life.. and i decide it.

things happened for a reason, don't they?

whoa.

its been a long time. since i last write. particularly since i've been so fucking busy at uitm, that not much time could be spent on writing blogs. that, plus the fact that I'm so damn lazy.

anyway, as always, my life never shy away from troubles. be it a big one, or small, tiny bit of it. at times, it get so hard that i almost like giving up all of this, returned to KL, and lives life as it was. at least, it wont be that hard. and at least, my emotions arent going to hurt.

oh. and before i said anything, Daus, 2a, well, u may said that mine is rather a typical blogs, that write about his lovers, his pathetic life, and all those dumb things, but well, it is mine. so, its my right, just to write anything i want to. anyway, not that I'm being mad or anything. after all, we live for a comment to improve us up, don't we?

oh. after a month there, i had been through a lot. first, there was this nomination for the MT thing. i was so excited, at first. so, after my class has voted me in, i went to the screening. later, things happened, and i seriously just want to quit. but, i never gave up.

add to that, my roomie, is a junkie. and i had been messing things up. such as damaging this person's buckle. lost the other person pen drive. lost our CTU notes, which, its later turn out, couldn't be more perfect than we could hope for. great job. and this goes for Daus, Kerel, and, sure, u too, Hamzah.

on top of it all, i suddenly discovered that i was in the middle of one's relation, again. this time around, the person, of whom i liked, turn out to like me, also.
of course, i could just snake my way and made that someone chooses me, instead. but i don't want to. and now, i'm seriously stuck.

just to spice things up, my pen drive also got lost, by the time i came to KL. gosh. Misfortune All Over. n i failed my driving test. yesterday. gosh. i was SOO Fucking Damn Close to get a license.

anyhow, there are some good sides, out of all of this. the AGM, held on 10th August went great. i spent time with YANIE, most of the times. and, it was awkward. although nothing really changes after that. (referring to the post).

and, with my children, (in my room), i could never felt happier. at least, while i was at Melaka. we always have fun. and i SERIOUSLY DONT FUCKING CARE about others anymore. i'd done that for the whole First sem, well, not anymore.

and of course, discovering people. I LOVE MEETING BUNCHES OF PEOPLE. people of colors, someone once said. and whats more. the feeling of being adored. haha. not that too many of them.

anyway. now that the mid sem's break are coming to the end, we'll have once again to live our cruel life, there at Melaka. maybe i put it too harsh a word, but, thats exactly what i felt. and im writing it through my window.

Dramas, Still.

2nd week at uitm.

well, after having such a great fun last weekend, sadly, i've git to go back to malacca. well, i am a student, so, it was like a job to go here and study.

last week has been fun, though.

Stuffs Can Change in a Week.

Apparently, it is true.

I spent days at Malacca. Only days. And it seemed as though it had been 5 long years. I just, well, I had thought about not going back to Malacca. It was tiring, a long and and exhausting first semester, and I don’t know if I could bear with it anymore.

Well, things had not been as rough as I thought it would be, that fact is true. But then, it had only been a week. Even classes are like, blah. It was good though, the fact that I got to meet all the classmates. GOSH~! Had it really been last semester. It was like, I had known them for years.

Owh, and the love that I was bragging about? Let’s just say, that’s over. Huhu. At first, it was hard, real hard, and way hard. Bona fide hard. I was really, I don’t know. Intense. I was sad, devastated, miserable even… what else? U names it. but then, I still had friends, good friends along the way. They are the one who had helped me. And, I don’t know. I always know that this thing would happen, sooner or later. I guess, I just wish that it would happen much, much later.

Well, anyhow, it’s only for one day. The next day, I woke up, and already feeling good about myself. At least, I could once again said, that I am single. Huhu. I always love that title. It meant free. It means, you’re doing your own thing. It means independent. Plus, I had my whole life, and sadly, my whole diploma, right in front of me. And I have Yanie, and Fiqa. The classmates that I adores much. They are the reason that I stayed. One of the reason, at least. Oh, and of course, Azzah.

For better of for worst, I am now at KL. Yeay~! (It had not even been a week, since I went to Malacca. Hehe).

7/12/2008 1:58:36 PM

.the Love.

Yesterday, I met off with my lover, for the second time. Still, I felt nervous, shivers, and such overwhelming feeling, all over. I don’t know. It’s just like, our first time, only its not. The meeting, well, it was…lukewarm. We had only met one time, and we already started a relationship.

You see, us is rather complicated. I knew him, more that I thought I did. Well, that’s the gist of it. It turn out, we’re in t same class, when we were in Standard 3, back at our old school, SKDTHO. And then he moved. And then we met, in the club. Somewhere around March this year. GOSH~!! And to think that we already whoring, dancing explicitly there, god, can’t even imagine.

“LOVE IN THIS CLUB”

Then, last week, I went to this house where, well, something’s happen.

And I met him there. After that, he said that he liked me. Really liked me. Even though I was just being myself. So, I was like, okay, we’re like moving too fast here. I mean, after that one meeting, he asked us to be, an item. I was, you know, after such hard years, I was like, heartbroken and all. But, he treated me so well. He always called me. And I never did. Haha.

Then, suddenly, we’re already in a relation. Okay. Ain’t it fast? Anyway, yesterday we met up. I was really uncertain, confused, ashamed, anxious, afraid, ohh... you name it.

Then I saw him, and, I don’t know. I just knew. It’s him. No one else. My love. So, we went strolling around, across the park. We even made out, lightly, of course. Gosh. I long for his lips to touch mine. I just ignored those people who were looking at us.

“I don’t care what they say, I’m in love with you~!”

Then, we went to McD. He insisted on paying for me. But I insisted not to. I’ve my own money. Plus, its not his money that I’m after. Next, we went to watch movies. The Nanny Diaries. Okay, for those who planned on watching it, please cancel your plan. I’m not saying it’s terrible, it’s just, if you’re looking for comedies, go with something else.

As soon as the movie ended, he said that he had to make his move. I was like, “but it’s still early…” unfortunately, he had to pick up his mom. Oh yea. Didn’t I say he lived at Shah Alam? I tagged along and sent him to KL Sentral. And I was like, “this guy got me going crazy. I even followed him to KL SENTRAL, while, at the same time, I could have gone home.

He gave me a peck on my lips. And I long for more. But well, it’s public. Huhuhu. Well, that was the all lovey, all romantic part of it. Here’s the hard part.

* The Distance

* Lack of Sparks

* I may not live up to his expectation.

Even my friends say, long distance relations rarely work. I knew that. LOL. I even had an experience in it. But, it’s all come to trust, right?

But then, how can I trust him, when I cant even trust myself? I’m afraid someone’s going to end up getting hurt, and I’m afraid it would be me.

Well, just for the record, it had been a week now, and we’re still together? Hence, it would be okay, will it?